|
About
Life and Happiness
from
a diary of notes and quotes
Ken
McIsaac
 This
is a selection of ideas about increasing happiness by dealing with the
problems we encounter in life. Problems like worry, anger, poor
self-esteem,
and stress. Sometimes it may only take a single idea or change of habit
to climb out of a rut, or to survive what seems a hopeless situation.
And
there are lots of these ideas available to us.
Of course
with any serious problem a first step should always be to consult a
health
professional. For personal information, there is a vast amount of
self-help
material available at the library, bookstore, and online. This might
not
be cool to some, but if there is any kind of stigma attached to reading
self-help books, don't tell the millions of people who read them. We
are
not alone. One of the most common threads in these books seems to be
the
enormous effect that our attitude has on our mental and physical well
being.
Some
Things To Think About
Today
will soon be gone
forever. Are we are putting off our enjoyment until we have more time,
or money, or some other improved condition? The trouble with that is
that
it might never happen, or it may be too long in coming. It is so
important
to accept this time, this very minute, as something of tremendous
value.
"You are
only sure of today;
do not let yourself be cheated of it."
Henry Ward
Beecher (1813-1878)
Happiness
is inside us,
in our thoughts. It is not external material things or experiences, but
the enjoyment of what we are thinking. This is good because our
thoughts,
and therefore our happiness, are up to us.
"Happiness
is like a butterfly
which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit
down
quietly, may alight upon you." - Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)
A lack of self-esteem
can
hold back our progress, put us under extreme stress, and make us feel
generally
bad about life. It may have been building inside us for many years with
the aid of bad thinking, but bad thinking can be replaced with good
thinking.
Just be yourself! We should accept that we are just human beings and
forget
trying to be perfect in the eyes of others. There is plenty of room
here
for us who are not superstars.
"The
finest lives, in my
opinion, are those who rank in the common model, and with the human
race,
but without miracle, without extravagance." - Michel de Montaigne
(1553-1592)
Stress
can be debilitating.
To improve upon a stressful way of life we can reassess our values and
routines. If possible, we can eliminate some of those things which are
not necessary to a contented life, and we can slow down. We can often
visualize
our way out of tension by picturing ourselves in a very calm, peaceful,
serene setting, in complete, easy control. Picture it vividly and hold
on to it.
"This
strange disease of
modern life with its brisk hurry and divided aims." - Matthew Arnold
(1822-1888)
Worrying
about the past
is a waste of time since there is nothing you can do to change it.
Consider
it a learning experience. Review what has happened enough to draw
conclusions
about what to do, and what not to do, in the future. Then forget
it.
"Things
without remedy should
be without regard; what is done is done."
William
Shakespeare (1564-1616)
Worrying
about the future
can waste large portions of one's life, considering that so often it is
for nothing, and almost certainly does no good.
"The
secret of health for
both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the
future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment
wisely
and earnestly." Buddha (BC)
Anger may
seem justified
when we have been hurt, and often it is. However, let's review the
situation
and consider the facts and effects. Who is being harmed by our anger
and
retaliation? If we cause ourselves more harm than those on which we try
to get even, what is the sense? Besides not wanting to hurt ourselves,
there is also another point of view, expressed by this wise man.
"It's hard
to have one's
watch stolen, but one reflects that the thief of the watch became a
thief
from causes of heredity and environment which are as interesting as
they
are scientifically comprehensible; and one buys another watch, if not
with
joy, at any rate with a philosophy that makes bitterness impossible." -
Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)
Problems:
- Get all
the facts.
- Describe
the problem in detail.
- List all
the possible solutions.
- List the
advantages and disadvantages
of each.
- Detail
what you will do.
- Follow
through.
"Difficulties
strengthen the
mind, as labor does the body. - Lucius Seneca (3-65)
Despair
is a sickening
feeling, yet it may seem very appropriate. You should know that others
have been there and have suffered similar or worse experiences. They
have
survived, and so will you. To counteract the feeling of hopelessness,
list
those assets which you do have. Perhaps some of these: family, youth,
friends,
health, job, home, nature, pets, garden, music, faith, books . .
"When all
else is lost the
future still remains." - Christian Bovee (1820-1904)
Relaxation
tips: Create
a detailed peaceful retreat in your imagination, and at different times
during the day, go there to calm your feelings. Picture it in vivid
detail.
Perhaps a comfortable room with soft music. A quiet place in the woods.
A placid fishing lake. A beautiful garden with flowers, trees, birds,
water
falls. Perhaps such a place already exists. While you are there, let go
of everything except where you are.
"A quiet
mind cureth all."
- Robert Burns (1759-1796)
Guilt is
an awful, sickening
feeling, inviting worry and depression. We should think about what we
have
done, but just long enough to realize what we did. Make amends if
possible,
and determine future actions. Avoid experiences that result in guilt by
not judging, blaming, or bringing down other people. Try to find their
good points, and try to avoid anger. Don't blame yourself either.
Accept
that you make mistakes but don't hold a grudge against yourself. One of
the best ways to recover from despair, guilt, or sorrow, is to keep
busy.
"We ought
not to look back
unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the
purpose
of profiting by dear-brought experience." - George Washington
(1732-1779)
Confidence
comes easily
and naturally for some, for many others it seems impossible. The good
news
is that it is a habit that can be learned by anyone. It's up to us to
live
the way that is best for us. If we wish to let someone make us feel
inferior,
we can. If we wish, we can compromise a bit. We can also feel good
about
ourselves just the way we are. It's up to us.
"Your own
mind is a sacred
enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your
permission."
- Arnold Bennett (1867-1932)
Values
need reviewing from
time to time. Most of us go through life always wanting more and
better.
Being in this state of constant desire does not coexist with peace of
mind.
It is normal to want a better life for ourselves and our families, but
we have to balance our goals with the cost. How much does this
promotion,
vacation, new purchase, cost in terms of real life? How many extra
hours
of stress and anxiety, now and later, go into getting it?
"A crust
eaten in peace
is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety." - Aesop (BC)
Kindness
benefits both
ways. Many philosophers and psychologists have stated a very important
relationship between our feelings toward others, and the way we feel.
By
thinking of other people, we get our thoughts off ourselves and
whatever
is causing our anxieties.
"When you
are good to others,
you are best to yourself." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
These
were selections
from . . .
32
Keys: A Collection of Ideas About
Life
Read
the complete book online
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Other Pages on This Site: 32
Keys About Life
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